Some times I look back at my late and short teaching career and
wonder if I ever should have done it. Perhaps, I consider, the time
could have been better spent, say, getting my computer science degree
sooner, or I could even have started to write sooner, but no.
Without that experience there are certain very important things I
never would have learned.
As a teacher I was driven to take an interest in the character and
destiny of each of my students. I know it sounds a little corny, but
what exactly is the universal job description teachers have? Are we
not there to help our students by encouraging high character in them,
and then to train them in what they need to know and master in order
to achieve the personal goals that derives from that high character?
These are the sorts of things only a teacher or parent is likely to
ever commit to, and having never been a parent, teaching was the
reason for me. So in spite of my normal tendency to simply allow
fools to be fools, I was driven by a job description to try and save
them.
I remember in particular one middle-school student of mine that was a
free spirit. He was smart, got good grades on his assignments, and
was generally respectful toward his teachers, but from the point of
view of my lead teacher and the school's principal he was sorely
lacking in two very important areas. He was terribly disorganized to
the point that the contents of his desk often overflowed into other
students' spaces. That really annoyed them, but the second area of
lacking was what really worried them. He tended to be a loner. He
seldom associated with other students and when he did, the other
students would become annoyed with something he'd say or do. Nothing
serious. They were little things I don't remember exactly, but like
say playing four square and not seeming to try, or starting to do his
imitation of a flying saucer sound. The only thing I do remember is
that there was little to no consistency or pattern in these things.
He might frustrate students not trying one day and then compete in
earnest the next, or just not play on another. In a nut shell, he
was not just a loner, but a very creative one.
The moment of my enlightenment came as I was grading papers after
school and he and his parents were meeting in the next room with the
principal and my lead teacher. I heard bits and pieces of what was
being said at first. It was an old story. For years he had attended
this K-8 school, and for years the faculty had worked with him on his
two shortfalls. The parents said things I could tell they realized
they had said several times before, but the teacher and the principal
sounded more determined to make progress. They noted it seemed that
none had been made.
The principal, a woman I had great respect for, was talking when
suddenly this young 7th grade fellow shouted “shut up!”.
I was horrified, both because he was being so extremely
disrespectful and because I was worried for him and his future at the
school. I was tempted to charge into the room, but wasn't sure what
I could or would do, calm him down or scold him. I decided to stay
at my grading work, but couldn't avoid hearing what was going on in
the next room. He went on to tell them how it made him feel to be
continually picked at, and asked them, still yelling and angry, to
“just leave me alone!”. I heard adult voices, occasionally his
parents but mostly my co-workers, attempting to reason with him, but
he wasn't having any of it. He only continued to tell them off.
It was then that it happened, the thing that really mattered to me
and my future, the proverbial lights came on. The words came out of
me like an involuntary sneeze, “you tell them”. I caught them
enough that I couldn't be heard through the walls. It scared me for
a split second, but then I felt something quite different than fear.
I felt free and enlightened.
This young man had spent the last several years of his life under
constant attack for in essence just being an individual. Sure,
organization is important, but not enough to justify years and years
of nit-picking and threats. And sure, it's wise to worry a little
when a child is left out of social circles, but not when it's his
choice and when he has no ill will or feelings toward anyone. His
stand in that meeting, taken out of context is just a student being
extremely disrespectful and insubordinate, but in context it was the
Boston Tea Party, Lexington-Concord, Rosa Parks in the front of the
bus, and Robert the Bruce at the Battle of Bannockburn. He was
expelled that day, and I called the parents shortly after to offer
any and all help I could give them. My help was minor, but I was
there to see him go on with his life, free of those who had sought to
take away his individuality. To the best of my knowledge he's been
very successful at being himself, and more than that.
One of the most significant measures of success in a person's life is
who they've effected in positive ways, and just how positive. In
this young man's case, he effected me. His moment of taking that
stand that day showed me just how important the individual is.
Without his stand, I probably wouldn't be writing right now. As a
matter of fact I hate to think of what I might be doing, something
meaningless, something depressing, something wrong.
I'd be so bold as to thank him by name, but I don't want to draw in
the people I worked for and with at that time. That moment was also
the moment I realized I was working with the wrong people, at least
for someone like myself who cherishes the individual. So I'll leave
it at this until I manage to contact him again more directly and less
publicly, thank you, and sorry I was unable to see things before that
day, but that wasn't going to happen without you doing it. The
individual is bigger than all of us.
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